Apple popped out a brand new pair of AirPods this week. The design appears precisely just like the previous pair of AirPods. Which means I’m by no means going to make use of them as a result of Apple’s bulbous earbuds don’t match my ears. Think sq. peg, spherical gap.

The solely approach I might rock AirPods could be to stroll round with fingers clamped to the edges of my head to cease them from falling out. Which would possibly make a pleasant lower in a shiny Apple advert for the gizmo — suggesting a sense of closeness to the music, such you can’t assist however cup; a suggestive visible metaphor for the aural intimacy Apple absolutely needs its know-how to speak.

But the truth of attempting to make use of earbuds that don’t match just isn’t that in any respect. It’s simply shit. They fall out on the slightest motion so that you both sit and by no means flip your head or, sure, maintain them in together with your fingers. Oh hai, hands-not-so-free-pods!

The apparent level right here is that one measurement doesn’t match all — howsoever a lot Apple’s Jony Ive and his softly spoken design crew imagine they’ve devised a common earbud that pops snugly in each ear and simply works. Sorry, nope!

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A proportion of iOS customers — maybe different petite ladies like me, or certainly males with much less capacious ear holes — are merely being faraway from Apple’s gross sales equation the place earbuds are involved. Apple is pretending we don’t exist.

Sure we will simply purchase one other model of extra appropriately sized earbuds. The in-ear, noise-canceling variety are my desire. Apple doesn’t make ‘InPods’. But that’s not an enormous deal. Well, not but.

It’s true, the buyer tech big did additionally delete the headphone jack from iPhones. Thereby depreciating my current pair of wired in-ear headphones (if I ever improve to a three.5mm-jack-less iPhone). But I might simply shell out for Bluetooth wi-fi in-ear buds that match my shell-like ears and keep it up as regular.

Universal in-ear headphones have existed for years, in fact. A pleasant design idea. You get a collection of totally different sized rubber caps shipped with the product and select the dimensions that most closely fits.

Unfortunately Apple isn’t within the ‘InPods’ enterprise although. Possibly for aesthetic causes. Most probably as a result of — and there’s greater than just a little irony right here — an in-ear design wouldn’t be naturally roomy sufficient to suit all of the stuff Siri must, y’know, faux intelligence.

Which…

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